crazy people

To be honest, I get attracted to people with strange personalities, and I’m not talking about geeks or nerds or optimistic-dickheads or even crazily-intelligent people, no, I’m talking about dark deep intellectuals who see life as I see it, a long dark tunnel where we have the opportunity to find our true selves and discover how great we can be despite our disappointing surrounding. In the process, I get head-to-head with empty people that scare the shit out of me. These people have brains almost as small as their self esteem, lacking good judgment, running in loops of self-search and darkness of ignorance and waste of time. This category of people is in fact a huge nation, and they are around us everywhere, they might be very clever, organized, optimistic, but they are empty like a used egg shell. If you are in the age of 20-25 and you still wonder who you are and feel that you are not standing on a solid ground in terms of personality, you are one of them.

But what is a “personality”, is it to look people in the eye and talk? Is it self respect? Is it to walk in to a room and hope that people will notice how confident asshole you are? For me, a personality is beyond the way we look, the way we speak, the way we move, its more closer to how we define things, and to what extent are we willing to go head-to-head with others and challenge their theories, and shake the ground of the “known” world to structure our own world, to influence not to get influenced and finally to form our own ideas. To be honest, I didn’t meet that “someone” who struck my as a strong personality with will-defined values and strategies, with a vision, and strong theories. To have a personality it doesn’t mean to be merciless or to jump on others heads to reach your top, it’s more how to go through a crowd to cross a highway, and then to assist the weak ones to cross it with you.

I’m not a perfect man, I never was, and I’ll never be because I truly believe that our flaws give us our taste. I have my bad habits, I like/hate them, and I try replacing them with something good if I could. When we try so hard to hide these flaws, to disguise our true selves in order to melt with the community, we lose our importance because we just look like everyone else. But what is a community? Isn’t it a group of people who live around each other, interact and judge everyone else? They are people in the end, with flaws, just like us, me and you. Don’t we get attracted to people who just think like us, like what we like and hate what we hate? We get attracted to people with flaws like our flaws, we get attracted to people with the same problems we have, and it makes us feel that we aren’t alone in this world. Hence like what I do with people when I organize them in to small categories in my head happens in real life where people fall in the same groups, and interact with people that have the same similarities. But isn’t that dull, to be with others who just think like you and act like you? Isn’t it more interesting to find someone who is 180 degrees different and see what can he/she add to you?

People are exactly like food. You eat, digest, get the good vitamins, and poop the rest. In life, you live, think, nourish your mind, and move along. Some people are like delicious pasta, you digest in a good time and get the good stuff out of it, and some people are like Indian food, you eat it and you poop it after 5 second. Smelly image I know, but it makes sense to me. 90% of people I meet are pasta, and the rest are … well you got the idea.

When we are in a bad mood, we feel that we have to feel better soon, because people don’t like to be with those with bad moods all the time. Why should it be this way, whey should we laugh in groups and cry individually? Why should we seek acceptance? What is wrong with living alone? How would it be if we decided to spend one single day out of the entire week alone, with the mobile shut, and no interaction whatsoever with any single human being we know? How would it feel to focus on our selves, do some self-maintenance and then go back to our crazy lives and resume our personal war? Starting this week, I’m doing that, don’t call me on Mondays!

crazy people

To be honest, I get attracted to people with strange personalities, and I’m not talking about geeks or nerds or optimistic-dickheads or even crazily-intelligent people, no, I’m talking about dark deep intellectuals who see life as I see it, a long dark tunnel where we have the opportunity to find our true selves and discover how great we can be despite our disappointing surrounding. In the process, I get head-to-head with empty people that scare the shit out of me. These people have brains almost as small as their self esteem, lacking good judgment, running in loops of self-search and darkness of ignorance and waste of time. This category of people is in fact a huge nation, and they are around us everywhere, they might be very clever, organized, optimistic, but they are empty like a used egg shell. If you are in the age of 20-25 and you still wonder who you are and feel that you are not standing on a solid ground in terms of personality, you are one of them.

But what is a “personality”, is it to look people in the eye and talk? Is it self respect? Is it to walk in to a room and hope that people will notice how confident asshole you are? For me, a personality is beyond the way we look, the way we speak, the way we move, its more closer to how we define things, and to what extent are we willing to go head-to-head with others and challenge their theories, and shake the ground of the “known” world to structure our own world, to influence not to get influenced and finally to form our own ideas. To be honest, I didn’t meet that “someone” who struck my as a strong personality with will-defined values and strategies, with a vision, and strong theories. To have a personality it doesn’t mean to be merciless or to jump on others heads to reach your top, it’s more how to go through a crowd to cross a highway, and then to assist the weak ones to cross it with you.

I’m not a perfect man, I never was, and I’ll never be because I truly believe that our flaws give us our taste. I have my bad habits, I like/hate them, and I try replacing them with something good if I could. When we try so hard to hide these flaws, to disguise our true selves in order to melt with the community, we lose our importance because we just look like everyone else. But what is a community? Isn’t it a group of people who live around each other, interact and judge everyone else? They are people in the end, with flaws, just like us, me and you. Don’t we get attracted to people who just think like us, like what we like and hate what we hate? We get attracted to people with flaws like our flaws, we get attracted to people with the same problems we have, and it makes us feel that we aren’t alone in this world. Hence like what I do with people when I organize them in to small categories in my head happens in real life where people fall in the same groups, and interact with people that have the same similarities. But isn’t that dull, to be with others who just think like you and act like you? Isn’t it more interesting to find someone who is 180 degrees different and see what can he/she add to you?

People are exactly like food. You eat, digest, get the good vitamins, and poop the rest. In life, you live, think, nourish your mind, and move along. Some people are like delicious pasta, you digest in a good time and get the good stuff out of it, and some people are like Indian food, you eat it and you poop it after 5 second. Smelly image I know, but it makes sense to me. 90% of people I meet are pasta, and the rest are … well you got the idea.

When we are in a bad mood, we feel that we have to feel better soon, because people don’t like to be with those with bad moods all the time. Why should it be this way, whey should we laugh in groups and cry individually? Why should we seek acceptance? What is wrong with living alone? How would it be if we decided to spend one single day out of the entire week alone, with the mobile shut, and no interaction whatsoever with any single human being we know? How would it feel to focus on our selves, do some self-maintenance and then go back to our crazy lives and resume our personal war? Starting this week, I’m doing that, don’t call me on Mondays!

Who will kill my book?

They told me that writing an entire novel is a great accomplishment in the age of 30. I smiled and said "fuck off". Writing a complete novel is great yes, but it's not the ultimate accomplishment, especially in this region. ¼ page is the number of "books" Arabs read in an entire bloody year, so why the hell should I fucken write for a nation that doesn't read? Don't get me wrong, I love to write, it's the only way I can express my emotions and thoughts, but writing for no one reads is exactly like selling water for people who don't drink. To make people read in this region I have to pack my novel with sex, religion and politics. Writing about these issues is fine, but making an entire novel full of sex is nothing but writing erotica, and I'm not that kind of writer. When I started writing, my aim was to express the human suffering, the daily catastrophes that the poor experience, to be simply the sound of the weak. But hey, who cares about the poor, right, we want sex and politics, we wanna a novel that talks about her vagina and his dick, and how hot was the dirty sex. I believe that the media did the greater role in fulfilling this desire of sexual ideas, and its time to leave literature quite away from this filth. Good sex should exist in novels, and by good sex I mean the natural kind, that is to write about it whenever the plot needs it, not to cover an erotica with novelical content. That is like painting a death champers with pink.

I wanna see a nation that reads in this Middle East. A nation knows that literature solves issues. But you know, I figured it out, I found the solution to write a novel with the least sexual content but it could sell and be popular. We need simply to use action and mystery. Mystery alone can make a novel best seller, but unfortunately, we here see it the least in literature. Why is that? Because of the lake of imagination, that's why we don't see good novels in here. There are some good novels in this region, but come on, they lake any good plot, there is no engineering to there novels. Who will kill my book, is a question I ask while preparing to publish my first novel. If it was in my hand, I would give it for free for the entire society, only if they can insure me that they will discuss it and give me feedbacks.

Optimistic dickheads

It might be a fact that I'm one of a million from those who think optimism is nothing but fucken insanity in our modern world. A dickhead friend of mine told me once "dude, be optimistic!". Well honestly I wished that I had a stick in my hand that I can beat the shit out of him, but lucky him, I had none. I was, in a level of my life, quite optimistic, that was long time ago, when I was just a 10 years old naive boy, thinking that tomorrow is a better day. Well, optimism made me no favors, my family collapsed, my father died, I have a heart condition that whenever I talk about it to my doctor, his mouth says "it will be OK", but his face say "fuck dude, your are screwed". I'm a man with mental issues, psychological shit that settled with time and I can't cure. I'm depressed 90% of the time, but hey, its life.

 

Let me avoid personal optimism, and talk about global optimism. Tell the kids in Africa to be optimistic, they will eat you alive. The world is a fucken war zone, millions are being killed for no reason, bush is still president, and the entire world economy is collapsing. How can someone be optimistic in this life, how can he wake up in the early morning and think "yes, this will be an amazing morning". I hate, yes I said it, I fucken hate optimistic people, because they are not realistic, they are living in virtual reality where there is no harm. There is no one without a monkey on his shoulder, but to pretend there is no trouble is running away from reality. Hence, fuck optimism, I would rather be cranky all the time but fighting my own dilemmas rather than hiding behind a big fucken smile with the word "happy "printed on my forehead.

Things that grind my gears (sex in media)

Sex in everything, grinds my bloody gears. Media, music, literature, T-shirts and every bloody advertisement on TV contain a sexual element that flames our basic need. Sex as a topic, is ok to be discussed. It's a natural need. It's a basic instinct. But fuck it, food is a basic instinct too, but you don't see it in car ads. What really grinds my gears about sex in media is when writers use is. I'm a writer, and I use sex in my work briefly, but it's away from the porn we read in modern novels. I'm talking about Arabic novels here, not western novels. Hell there is a lot of sex in our Arabic novels, along with politics and religion twists. This triangle sex-politics-religion seems to be fucken favored by novelist in this Middle East. Fine, I understand that we in this region suffer sexual explosion after the full exposure to western values, but moderation should be considered for once. I mean there is no rating in the Middle East in literature; hence any one can get whatever.

 

Media have the major influence on minors and even adults, and it could be the missile that destroys the remains of this nation. As for the UAE, the country is chocking with twisted values that are a way from its original. Dubai, the lost Arabic city is the source of major changes in the moral structure of this country. It's like Las Vegas in the Vatican City. Two different values in one country, and believe me, there is no fucken balance that can fix the damage.

Back to sex in media, the movies are filled with it, the music is floating on sexual content, and the minors are eating it up. What effect does that have, well, wait and see, and you'll witness a fucken corrupted society comes form this one.

"And he pulls out the life from the dead, and he pulls out the dead from the life"

the world is not enough by Garbage

I don't like the band, but I like the music. Very old song, one of my favs.

It is harder than it seems

Designing is fucken hard, its time consuming and makes your head spin. The site in the picture is a foolish design I've made and I assume it would be lunched soon as a kind of a group project related to marketing and advertisement. Well, it took me around a week to finish the bloody design, nonetheless, I hate it. They say a true artiest wont be satisfied with his work ever. My opinion is, fuck it. It's hard to design since your mind and taste changes with time. I thought about quitting design, but from time to time I find my self designing something. Art is cool, it's good for your brain where it opens doors of knowledge that you don't even realize until later. Art gives us taste in life along to music and literature. Websites now are designed via ready temples which is not cool, its like having instant coffee, it contains caffeine but that doesn't make it a good coffee.